I read lots of freelance blog posts about handling difficult clients. They all seem to gloss over the most difficult client of all.
YOU.
The way you feel about yourself and your talent sets the tone for all your client interactions. Think of your clients as mirrors. If you complain they don’t treat you well it’s probably because you’ve taught them not to treat you well. If you complain they don’t pay you on time, it’s probably because you’ve taught them not to pay you on time. If you complain they expect you to do work you didn’t agree to, it’s probably because you’ve taught them give you work you didn’t agree to.
Most of us learn this wimpy behavior early in life and it gets reinforced as we march into adulthood. I was taught to defer to parents, teachers, lovers, bosses and government leaders. Rumor had it that if I stood up for myself something awful would happen – I’d get punished, dumped, fired or thrown in jail. Is it any surprise that I deferred to clients too?
When I toiled in a cubicle for a larger corporation, my submissive behavior appeared to be expected, applauded and rewarded. When I opened my own business, the same submissive behavior had me working like a dog for wages even a dog couldn’t live on.
It took quite a bit of mental strength training, but I finally told my toughest client – the wimpy me – to take a hike. This allowed my greatest client — the powerful me — to advocate on my behalf. Now I set and maintain clear boundaries and decide how I wish to be treated. The result? My clients get a more confident designer, a far better design product, and a partnership grounded in honesty rather than fear.
Some aspects of the working relationship bring out the wimpy you more than others.
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