I've owned my own business for almost eight years, it's been great. The money is amazing (but I work like a well oiled field slave for said moneys). Then there are the times when there is no money, I mean none. But I'm a faithful camper, I dig in and hold on with my squirreled away saving until the amaaaaazing money (x3) comes back and it always does. But I aint no fool. I keep a resumé at the ready. Sort of an escape hatch on paper. That's right every year for almost eight years I have updated my resumé in spite of the money. Call it healthy paranoia or call it well, unhealthy paranoia, I keeps it ready. So every advertising slow season, for us typically summer, I threaten to close the doors, unplug the mouse, take down the shingle and be out this biotchie! And then I don't. I stick it out. Now that's not to say I haven't on occasion fired that bad-boy off prematurely (I think they have pills for that now).
So this latest economic drought (which for the record I do not accept, because I'm a very wealthy man... on the inside) has caused my itchy resumé trigger finger to squeeze (not pull) often, wildly, erratically, irrationally and emotionally. So I'm firing these sh*ts off every-whicha-damn-way indiscriminately, thinking a regular paycheck will solve any cash-flow issues. You know suckle on that corporate teet. Or find a cool small (bigger than mine, size counts here) boutique shop or maybe go back to an ethnic shop and flex my Blaxpertise™. Wrong. This didn't go anything like I planned.
Firstly, the shops that want me... (use your nice words, use – nice – words), let's just say I have no poker face for these shops. No. I didn't realize how snobby a brother from the hood could become, what happen to the hungry hustler? The art director jobs said I was more of a designer and the designery jobs said I was art directorish. One AD position said I was over qualified (and I agree) and they would call me if Associate Creative Director or Creative Director aeron chairs became available. I've been told "we need more ethnic(y) feeling. I think that means more thuggish concepts? One large general market shop said I was too "multi-culti" which is advertising speak for; Kick rocks - Obama! LET ME STATE HERE ADVERTISING IS THE LAST FEILD ON EARTH WHERE YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THAT KIND OF CUUR-AZY TALK ON A DAILY BASIS AND IT IS CONSIDERED NORMAL! Oh, and for the record, that was a black guy at the general market shop telling me I'm too ethnic. *music stops* yeah a nasally a** brother.
Have I rendered myself un-hireable? Does running a shop make you a hodgepodge of skills that are irrelevant in a big shop, where the roles are pretty clear cut and specific? Do I really even want that? Is it a money issue? Ask any freelancer, contractor or business owner with any regular work and they will tell you the money's great and you can't get the same paper once hired on. It's easy to top the pay of most creative directors I know. I think I could live without that. I know I may not make the same money, but the stability, I could get with that. Will I miss the freedom? Without a doubt. Maybe I suck, now there's an idea. Maybe I do, but my little shop has bested much bigger shops in pitches and awards. That little shop has also helped national brands achieve double digit growth on multiple occasions. Well, twice but dammit not many can say that. Maybe I don't seem the safest choice? One Google search and you'll find my name attached all kind of "race-y" hot topics but having my own allows me to speak freely, can I do this at a job? That same Google search will also net you some worthwhile endeavors, I really hope that can continue at a job. That's probably my biggest question, can I find any worthwhile fulfilling endeavors that are not of my own volition? Can a job satisfy my desire and passion to create more than just ads, but to edify and express things that have yet to define?
I guess I'll just have to dig in and rough it out again. Yeah, I can do this. *Thumps chest* Salt of the earth, I'ont need no damn ass job. unless you know of something... if you know something it's a email over there somewhere on the right column... craig @ something or other... get at ya boy...
I guess I gotta check myself.
The incredible art is by Savas Ozay, check him out. https://sites.google.com/site/mayuradocs/PinIt.png
6 comments:
Well Craig I could say I've been where you are and more...I guess the problem is not you nor your talent...It's that you don't fit the "mold" of the shops that you are applying to...I bet that sounds a bit ridiculous but I was in your position a little...I started my freelance web/graphic/font shop in '99 when all was good with the world and design/web work fell from the sky like snowflakes in winter. Times were good I had that gig going and also worked full time as a web developer at an ISP in town...then the DotCom downturn happened and things began to dry up in my part of the country so I came down here (Atlanta) to actively pursue work in the design field and leave the tech support desk behind. And I realized a couple things...the Atlanta market is nice but it's a market that is inundated/dominated by recruiters and the "4-5 guys and a dog shops" at least from my perspective...and I don't have to go into the majority ethnicity of these shops since that seems to be the norm in this field and I have played "Jesse Owens" every other place I've worked...
I won't name names...but I interviewed at a couple of places, cold-called and emailed others and ran into the same issues...either I didn't fit in, I was 5 minutes late when I was 10 minutes early or I would be told that they are no longer looking even though the posting was up for the two next month...as a matter of fact I even emailed you Craig and the Culture A.D. staff to find out if you had any openings and received an email asking if I knew how to use Indesign...I replied yes and never received an answer after that...I digress...
The fact is that in order for you to be happy at the thing you like to do sometimes you have to go your own way and nurture your own voice...Getting a square job is not that bad at all but if you feel that a "cube farm" will ultimately end up killing you creatively then it's time to focus and turn your side hustle into your square job...many have done it before us and why shouldn't you enjoy working for yourself.
And don't worry about the turndowns and criticisms of our "lighter" or even "light-minded" contemporaries in the industry...you and any other person of color in this ever growing creative business have a better handle on diversity, ethnic sensitivity and respect for culture in their work than those "other" shops...and the funny part is that they know this and fear it could ruin the thing they have going...
So I say grind on...love what you do and the money will come...steady pay checks are great but after a while a steady paycheck becomes a shackle to the real work you were meant to share with the world.
Kwes-Luv! D-did I do that? Did I - I ask you if you knew in-design and then didn't back to you? My most sincere apologies to you sir. Because the young people are so important to me. I get no less than 5 emails a day from young people looking for work. I always hope that I can help somehow and ask that they stay in contact and consider me a resource. But sometimes email falls through the cracks.
It's all pretty laughable when I back away from it.
C-Murda,
It's all good...it pushed me to re-boot my thinking on my work and even helped me push my font foundry even more...it's all about negatives into positives...
This is how we move ahead, the adversities of life, pushing & moving us ahead. We're doing this. In spite of the trials and bull, we're doing this.
Well said. Big fan of the honesty in this post as many of us with small shops are thinking the same thing... do we head back to corporate america or big agency world OR do we dig our heels in and keep fighting the good fight. I was reading your post thinking yup, yup, yup... in other words, I felt like I was writing the post.
I've gone back and forth, but I keep telling myself the shops that make it through this period will reap huge rewards when the going gets good again. You've got to tell yourself something, right?
Long comment short, you're definitely not alone. Many of us are feeling the same way.
Jeff, thanks bro, there is nothing more reassuring than a kindred spirit. To know that you are not the only entrepre-crazy out here!
Post a Comment