Confession: I Really dig Billy Mays

Dude is louder than a bomb! He's a pit-bull with a script! He's got that 1920's carnie swag. He sounds like he's hawking impossible to win boardwalk games, "THREE TOSSES FOR-A-DOLLAR... AND THAT'S NOT ALL YA GET... !" And it works. I know somebody may want to take away my black card. Note to white friends: Black people have cards that we arbitrarily take away from each other for the smallest of offenses. Like; wearing loafers, working in advertising or liking Billy Mays. But I don't give a damn, I'm putting it all out there. Billy was the shizz-tick. I tivo his reality show. I watch his commercials leaning forward and never turn the volume down. Billy sells shit. He doesn't go for the pretty sh*t either, no overly produced spots with actual soundtracks and scores and sh*t. He gets real gutter with it. "Hi, I'm Billy Mays and I'm selling the hell out of these here nut sweat pads... !" And the real f•cked up part is; I'm buying it! I need those irrelevant ass nut sweat pads! Billy gets to the heart of what advertising is all about and then clogs all it's arteries with as much sweet sticky chunky product huckstering as it can stand. Then he actually clocks the dollars he makes or doesn't make. With a $10,000 budget and a two minute commercial dude can outsell most big shops second for second, dollar for dollar.

The bearded one is the master. One.
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